finally got like 2 years of wasted time figured out
so my dark and ominous foe

inside my head
fear of vulnerablity, hate of people
pride

gosh

so distastedful, i subconsciously avert it
and to what cost
so much time lost

maybe i took the godfather trilogy too seriously
maybe im just scared of hurts

well,
how do i go against years of ingrained algorithms...
hhmm
irony isnt it,
how sometimes, cowardice and arrogance form such a potent mix

well i'll try
i wont pour out the receses of my heart,
but i'll try

hmm
i guess someone has found a way past the defences..
but im scared to explore that option
just scared
in the pursuit of more, we might lose what we have already
is the cost of living
or is regret of 'could have beens' worse?
i dun really wad comes next