sometimes we get so tired of everything
so bothered by whats around us
that we throw ourselves at whatever walls we can find
seeking any sensation but that despair and hurting that comes from inside

i dont hate all of you
i hate myself for letting me be affected by you

houdini was right
the hard part isnt disappearing
its in the reappearing afterwards which is the problem

watch me as i go
go become nothing

so my house of cards collapses once again
it never ends does it
break me down crush me to nothingness
tear me away
till all thats left is whats thats real

over and over,
it never seems enough does it
when will sick cycle stop

im tired
of trying but never getting there
when
how
why

You speak a few words into the midst of the storm
nothing changes
but it everything becomes alright
does it?

if you must know
no im not ok
does it matter?
not really
do i care?
i guess i do
do i want to talk about it?
i cant even find words for myself