but my secret lies hidden within me,
no one shall discover my name!

those are the translation of one of the most famous lines from the aria nessun dorma
arguably pucinni's best aria

had an interesting talk with lian ytd over coffee late at night
i brought up the point how morality is not mathematically sound on the surface
that when u add up the factors arithmatically it doesnt match
he came to the point that often our morality is dependant on remoteness
how whether "necessary evil"
is good or bad dependant on how remote we are from the act
we talked then about lots of the controvesies regarding the christian faith
alot of the harder to swallow paradoxes

but yeah
im how am i?
i think ive kinda become detached from everythings thats going on
i just feel so far away from it all

so detached from faith
so detached from sin
it helps when im with other ppl
but even then
i just feel so far away

sometimes i just feel like breaking out of my skin
breaking free from all that constraints
i mean
yeah
maybe its bcos im fat or wad
but its not merely physical
i just wish i could transcend all the limitations
all the lethargy,
lack of talent
circumstances
and do something actually worth doing

they were all wrong
it wasnt our secular nature nor rcc which held us down
the bible was right in one way
our living is the thing which ties us up
we need to die first before we gain the freedom to live