its 330am and i probably should be sleeping

part of me is wondering where have you been all my life
where have i been all my life

i think part of me is having a crisis of purpose
again

i know rhetoric about the metaphysical is pointless
and ive been down this neural walkway before
but i think theres a part of me that craves for that rush and awe again

im not really a nice guy
i get bored real easy
bored of people
well some people
and yes, im a terrible elitist

sometimes i wish i were either much smarter or much dumber

not smart enough to ride the undercurrent but not dumb enough to be ignorant
to percieve the door but to be keenly aware how beyond me it is