excuse me? do u noe where i can find joy

in case ur wondering

no, i am not refering to the name of a girl

just some distant shangri-la that ive heard of in folklore

hmm

no really

what is joy?

i suppose the most direct answer would be delighting in our identity in God, and in what he has done for us on the cross, and in the love and glory that we can bring to Him......

but than that would be quite far from what im capable of thinking about

at least for now, with my brain running on half the oxygen needed

lol

excuses

but really,

for me, for now

i guess its learning not to resent, and bring Him, something sacrificial

something pleasing...

something of worth

a side note, i want to change my blog song, but thats later....

hmm

i dunno,

joy hasnt exactly been one of my strengths..

i learnt to sigh since primary school

stare at the clouds and lament my situation

wallow in the melodrama of life, and the like

hmm

well

i guess one could call it perspective...

looking at the sides we choose to see

but i refuse to see joy as seeing the birds chirping and the rainbow and the flowers

hmm

i guess joy is seeing all the shit in life and knowing that God has everything in order....

well

we're seeking Heaven arent we

and i guess we'll nvr reach there until we finally let go and learn to look up

and learn to rejoice in the fact that we cant do anything rite and that everything has been set in place for us already

walking on a knife's edge

i guess the only thing we fail to see sometimes is the omnipotent One who asked us to walk the line carrying us

well

if we could percieve such mysteries

well i guess we'd see more of Heaven playing out through our lives.