here i am in school blogging
wow
its amazing
so much free time in sch
none at home
this world is imbalanced
everything abounding in all the wrong places.

i guess this rule applies to more than just my leisure distribution

its strange really,
i had to depart from an insistance on certain things i considered to be my cornerstone in order to find myself.

no i have not lost my faith or backslided,
and no i have not suddenly accepted some occultic doctrine
at least i hope ive not.

i guess its just learning to accept and make do with what i have left
or at least what ive been given
i suppose its learning one deep truth,
that u nvr really own ur life until u give it away to God freely

maybe i stopped trying to hold on and survive
so i finally learnt to live

then again
there are so many unreconciled areas and factors in my life
and as all good physics and sociatal algorithms tell us
all imbalances will be reconciled one way or the other,
its just a matter of the speed, smoothness of the transition and i suppose how pleasant the transition

maybe im buying myself time,
maybe im running away again
seems to be the only thing im really good at doing.

or maybe i need to heed that b-grade line...
u have only been fleeing
you havent learnt to run