let me come up with an explanation as to why this blog has seemingly abandoned
hmm
well
lets see
the times i feel like blogging are rare
and so are the times i have stuff to blog about
and that is compounded by the time i have to blog(since prelims are coming)
therefore, as all good math students will realise,
a small number cubed results in no significant value
lol

haha
maybe been mugging abit too hard

nah
cant be

anyways
recently i have to admit ive been rather moody
im one of the few guys i noe who has mood swings
will be high in the afternoon
and super irritable in the evening

been contemplating over an important issue
for those who dun noe
ive stepped down from active ministry
and have been considering a change in church

hai

its not so simple
but i guess things never are
and yet
i guess much of the complexity comes from us

well
im not blogging abt church or the prospective churches im considerign
its actually a bad time for this i guess with exams so near
i probably dun have time to look around

you dun know the way i feel
you dun see the tears i shed,
or how i harden myself everytime i shatter
the fear that plagues my dreams
and the thoughts i struggle with
you accept what you see,
and while i wish you looked deeper,
i guess the first glimpse does hold some truth
hope
its essential for survival
but i dare not hold any

pulling together my shattered pieces
i fear you
for u make me crumble
and wish for tt which i darenst not hold onto

to breathe you in and let go
maybe i should

if i was stronger
if i was braver
if were able to be worthy
maybe
just maybe
but well

im just too scared
and too inapt