so often we tell ourselves we cant possibly lonely
we have friends around us
loved ones
bosom pals who have our backs and to whom our hearts we share

we say that we have friends and so we should be happy

but we find ourselves sad
and melachonic
lacking colour despite the vividness of our social lives

but we bluff ourselves
we cant be sad
we cant be lonely
we're much better than that
at least we should be

but a voice tells us we're not
that welling discontentment that springs up from and unknown depth in our hearts

sometimes i guess we forget
the difference between appearance and existance
we dont look lonely
but thats because we're good actors
we dont look sad
because we've trained our plaster smiles

whats so wrong with lonliness anyway?
isnt sadness just another emotion
short-lived though unpleasant
like its sunnier counterpart?

isnt all that we pursue
this happiness
this end of the rainbow crap
just a passing phase?

there is hole in the depths of our hearts
one that we try to ignore
or cover up by filling ourselves with friends and meaningful activities
but nothing fits

we forget about the fundamental view
nothing good abt fundamentalism
just that sometimes
looking at the question of purpose does get things into balance

we were created for Him, by Him, through Him
only something in His will, from Him can fill us
because we were made that way

may we not be doomed to chase pretty rainbows
all our lives
and at the end
to be found wanting
still as empty
but with no more time left to give
to hold onto everything but lose all?
or to give up everything
just to gain...
the one thing that truly comes free