well, im rushing my blogposts now because my wireless is failing me
erm yeah, im sitting like 2m from the transmitter
any further and it seems that i cant get a connection so yeah

anyways, to put on a great show that i do treasure what the people around me say
i shall try to post about the more poignant statements made my those around me recently

anyways
cheryl was talking me today
and she happened to mention my jonah post and all
and she raised, i guess, a valid point that the book of jonah kind of ends abruptly
that it ends with the dead vine
and God giving a monologue
and teaching jonah a lesson
it doesnt go on to tell us jonahs response

hmm
after much thought
i think abrupt as it is
the book has the most perfect ending it could ask for
it ends with God speaking, and doing something in the life of His servant,
His work and His word,

and well
noting that the bible's focus should be on God rather than the idiosyncrisies and shortfalls of His people
i think it is fitting
the way i see it, which may seem plenty pessimistic,
no matter what response Jonah gave
be it grumbling more against God, or repenting and learning
no response would be a fit reply to the work of God, and thus a satisfactory

this is what makes Gods grace truly amazing
that no matter how we respond to it,
it is never truly a response worthy enough of what God has done

Jonah's response is therefore kind of irrelevant, forgive me for being so blatant
sure some people would love to find out how Jonah, probably would fall down on his face
and turn his life around
but that would be his struggle
encouraging as it may be

the real crux would be our own response to what God has said and is saying
the message of tough love
of His soveriegnty,
and the fact that He loves every other irritating, descpicable bugger out there as much as us

sure it would be inspiring and encouraging to hear how other rotters make it
but yeah,
we should never be distracted from the truth
that anyone only ever makes it by Gods grace.....


on to something probably more utterly rubbishy
lianny raised an amusing anxiety to me over the phone
how his well, oddities may somehow affect the possibilities of him finding his better half in the near future

lols
well
hmm
i guess i have nothing to say to that out of personal experience
other than the fact that that is one of the anxieties i have as well

we're part of the bunch of wierd people that others would probably label as "that funny person"
which basically means one who is eccentric and possibly slightly off his rocker

hmms

we dont fit into any social stereotype
or rather
i guess we choose not to or insist that we dont
out of probably the disgust at being part of a bigger picture
and the great egoistical pride we take at being different

so anyways
what exactly do we do about ourselves
when we march to the beat of a different drum from everyone else
or at least simply insist that we have our own groove

when we look at creation
as CS Lewis would write, that the metaphysical narrative has the kind of syncopated qualities one would expect to find in some fantastic fiction....
well those being my paraphrasing of his words to be exact, my memory isnt photogenic
i guess as much as you would find central themes, repeating patterns and enough similarities to slow waltz, lindy hop and all other names of dance, which i honestly dont care about enough to remember, in the play of life
life and time, works out with an off beat, track of controlled chaos in the background and forfront, or at least i percieve it to be


theres nothing wrong with being the only one in a crowd not tearing
not on your knees
theres nothing wrong with thinking when the rest are feeling
maybe we're just wired differently

i guess being one of the offbeats isnt such a bad thing
its the figuring out of how we learn to combine our lack of community rhythm with the song everyone else mindlessly blares out into something beautiful, or at least not assaulting to the senses.....that is the challenge...


since anyways
God created us all unique
i guess it was in His wisdom and plan
to create all of us different and yet to unite us
variety in the midst of perfect unity

well
we work towards utopia?
a mammoth dream i would suppose
(havent really answered the problem of finding a mate i suppose)

but anyways
i guess ive been thinking about what a dear someone said to me
something alongst the lines of lowering ones expectations, and thus allowing oneself not only to avoid disappointment but to be pleasantly suprised fairly often
well i regurgitated it a couple of times in my mind
(i think meditation works kinda like the four stomachs of a cow)

but i think as christians it would be dishonouring to GOd
if we lower the standards of our ambition
i mean yes, as little kids we often dream of limitless plains and high mountains
and later on in life find out that empty open plains dont provide much shelter from the rain or the cold and the higher the ground, the more painful when we fall off

micheal chabon writes in one of his books
that a hope fulfilled is half disappointed
and i think that has plenty of substance....

but we have a hope that already does not disappoint
salvation isnt just about dying and going to a happy place
its about seeing every single promise of God work out in our lives....

haha
ironic isnt it
to hear all the optimistic pleasantries from a self proclaimed pessimist
but im starting to believe that there is room for the pessimist in the kingdom
forgive me for my egotism
but i think pessmism, provides excellent fodder for a better and deeper understanding of grace
buahahahahah