im blogging exactly because im currently slogging through a physics lab report that's eating up my insides
schools been ok? i would say fun, but it seems like a weird word to use since never before did i think mugging abit everyday, and keeping up with tutorials fun.
sure, i made some new friends and all, but nothing tight, at least not with anyone i didnt know before uni

someone said i shdnt stop blogging, that people read my blog because it's deep and thoughtful and stuff
well maybe that's because i usually dont dare blog when ive nothing to blog abt
as ppl who know me better understand,(yes thank you mr lian for knowing me too well so that you spill out stuff to ntu tabloids) i tend to be more reserved, keeping my thoughts to myself, that is if im thinking at all....
i feel as if ive just been going through the motions of late.

i mean sure, i think abt school work, and what to eat, and what to wear but its all mechanical, nothing deep or metaphysical, not that any of that seems to matter nowadays....

ive always liked indie movies that focus on the dialogue between a few people, you'd realise that very little of what is said is random, and even more meaningful than the lines are the words not said, the awkward silences and meaningful glances....

not that im anything like that, my dialogue tends to be trivial, and my silence even more absymal...

well, so according to mr lian, i look morose, am apathetic and nonchalent, am untidy, am reserved, am not good at teaching others, along with a host of other unbecoming tidbits that he so happily spilled out to a school paper.....
and i gave them his contact because i thought he would be politically correct while insightful
gosh
where to bury my head now.

you know if you were to ask me what i hate abt myself, id wouldnt be able to come up with alot...
i mean sure the list of my shortcomings is quite long
im not as handsome as timothy wan,
im not as bright as einstein,
i might appreciate the arts, but im far from the Renaissance standard of da vinci
im unfit, im introverted and reserved
im non-chalent and unsentimental
but none of those really irk, maybe
maybe because i dont care enough

but i think the one thing i really hate myself for is not having the courage to say what i mean and feel, while i mean and feel it, when it still matters