men without chest

i think ive had an epiphany into why im so reluctant to blog nowadays

its probably the subconscious realisation that i lack the ability to write anything truly beautiful (maybe it has something to with being a math student)
i think the mark of any good writer is he manages with simple words to transcend the form and peek into something nebulous and unobtainable

cheryl chen once mentioned to me, that its God's way of doing things, to let the dreams He gives us die, before fulfilling them in His time

well i dont know about the second part
but i think dead dreams are what i have plenty of now

im no renaissance men, and looking at my lack of wonder, i wont make it as a philosopher either

sometimes i wonder if i throw myself into mathematics not as some form of self-mortification

i guess there is beauty in math too.... somewhere somehow
but its form is alot more abstract than im capable of on any normal day

i think ive gotten good at walking away from churches

well i was never very good at integrating in the first place
but i fear that its become something of a habit
wait did i just make a pun
oh well it wasnt intended
and i am good at calculus, its the social thing i struggle at

so we rent our clothes and grovel in the dirt
because we are dust,
mere dust

on another note
it seems my blog has found a new follower
well thank you so much
i think its flattering that you consider anything i write worth reading
although it may very well have been by mistake
and might i say you right much more beautifully than i could ever hope to

and i must apologize to mr lian for borrowing your title
but on somedays, i think i for one lack the moral courage to face the next day