You ask me for my dreams and aspirations
but what are they to You,
they count for nothing, but chaff in the wind
not much heavier than air
but take the dreams from a dreamer and what is he left with?

but You ask,
and i've promised it all before
take what You want

my whims and daydreams
they amount to not much
but they are hard to let go off
maybe because they are pretty much all i own

so You're asking me to hand over my future
its nothing much without You
so i guess i can let it go
but i cant
im wilful
and i want my own way
i want to go sinatras way,
and live it my way,
even if that doesnt achieve much

but You ask again,
so i cry
and i try to let go
because i know
You are good

You ask again for my dreams and aspirations
and make me wonder
if i havent really given them up at all
what does surrendering it to You mean anways?
to give You my life? my choices?
the right to let You dictate my course
and what i end up achieving?
or is my pride?
my revelry in my own acumen?

im realising just how rotten my foundation is
and its a jagged pill

to humble my pride,
and tear up this lovely picture i have of myself in my head
and accept that im more immature, flippant and unsaved than i think i am
and turn back to You

gosh i wish id listened more when You asked me to take root in Your word
even the headless chicken seems to have screwed on a noggin
and im not more found than i was 4/5 years ago

gosh, i miss being a kid
being spoonfed
being taken care of

but i guess im not so young anymore
and i should have grown up
maybe thats the problem
ive never really risen up
never learnt to give of myself
but just expected to continue recieving?

so do i step up to the plate?
is it to late?
is there even room?
a place for me to act now
or have i lost the script, am i 2 scenes too late

i dont know anymore
i have no idea what to do,
what to expect
or where i belong anymore
i just knowi have to find my feet
before i waste another year or two

help me to find myself in You