the recent common tests have made me come to several conclusions

for one, i am to a certain extent apathetic abt my academic future...
hmm
didnt really study hard for the common test
didnt study at all for chinese
although i need a d to get into uni
hmm

strangely ive been enjoying the test period
late nights
late mornings
eating instant noodles at home b4 going to sch
hahah

but ya
i come back relatively earlier from school
guess its a kind of break from both the usual rush of school and the mundaneness of the holis
a strange balance

on more serious matters...
honestly i feel kind of left out/behind from the recent hmm
bustle of activity in church
everyone else just seems so enthusiastic and doing so much
i dun share in excitement and passion
makes one wonder
am i really aloof and unfeeling?

at least im not the only one feeling this way
hmm
even though God is really working
can see the enemy's work all around
both in my own life
as well as wad i see in others
hai
i guess it is true that everyday is a struggle, both against our flesh and the enemy
it may seem wierd
but sometimes i feel more attached to sfc people than church people
maybe bcos of the lack of ppl in church around my age grp....

im probably gonna get into trouble for certain actions of mine......
hmm
i dun really feel that they were wrong things to do
but
well
"certain" people dun seem to think so
anyways
it seems my opinion doesnt really matter to "them"
well
to the people it does matter to
im sorry if i dun think the way i shd
and i thank you for caring abt my opinion

i'd really like to use this space on my blog to thank glen ong-the pope....
An ode to the pope.....
haha

thanks so much for your contributions to the youth min
especially in your helping out with the sound system
you are a mentor, teacher, friend and father to us in many ways...
i remember the days when i used to visit your office after school
enjoy air con and ur company
i also the old days of sfc
thanks for making the time really fruitful
i learnt alot from those times
and i really valued those few hours spent in the chapel
they were the most refreshing and valuable hours on school days
and thank you for the things you taught me, the things you said to me to encourage me
many times confusion was just so rampant in my mind
and i was struggling to the point of giving up
but u came along and gave ur two cents
and ya
it made a great difference in my situations

you were always there to spur me on
gently enough not to hurt
but provocative enough to invoke to action...
you gave alot of us the example to follow
gave us hope i knowing that it was/is possible to get so far from wad we in our rotten detestable state are
through your testimony
u gave hope to a pessimistic gloom addict
that maybe it isnt all that hopeless
that we can overcome, maybe not through our own strength but thru Gods...
and i thank you
for everything
may the hard work sweat and tears u invested in me
and the hope, love and expectations you place in me and on me not go to waste
i pray