Why?

Why do ppl let go?
Why do they hold unto sin?
WHy do they embrace deception?
Why do they delibrately work on in dillusionment?
Why?
Why do they forsake all that is pure and good, and chase after temporal things?
Why do they make a mockery of things,they know to be true, things that they once held dear?
Why do they harden their hearts & walk on the path of doom when they once claied that they would never turn back that way?

I wish i didn't care, I wish i could be numb
that way it won't hurt so much.
Wish I could just harden my heart and get a gd night sleep.
Must i always be the one who bothers, who broods who worries who dwells?
Must I suffer alone?

Am i so useless, that all i can do is to anguish over your fallen state, while unable to help you; unable to aid you; unable to be of any assistance?
Am i that obsolete? that i can only stand back and watch while you run into a wall?
am i that useless that all i can do is to pray for you?

Can't i show weakness? Can't i be the vulnerable one for once?
Can't i be the one who needs the help, needs the support?
Must i always be strong? mst i always be the one ho suffers in silence, wears a mask and continues to lease out help to the needy?
why cant i be selfish for once and just sit there and wait for others to help me?
Must i always be the one who helps others?
It is a tiresome life being the hero
it is always tiring to give without recieving

I wish i could cry out but i'm paralysed, and left feeling helpless.
I cry inside while wearing a mask
Yet You say in Your word that if I cry out You will answer.
so i take a breath and put all that i am into that one cry
and give it all that i am....