oh yeah, recently i read this CS Lewis book- reflection on the psalms
and one point really struck me
it was how we shouldnt envy others just because they dont seem to face the same struggles as u
and how perhaps these struggles are beyond these people

anyways
ive reading the book of job
and i realise like how jobs friends advise wasnt wrong teologically or anything
their intent wasnt really wrong
they just gave advice-alot of it
when it wasnt really needed
tehey didnt look for the root or anything
bleagh
the thing is that instead of mourning with job, sharing in his pain
and encouraging him
they had the best ideas and intentions
and tried to force them on him
i guess im realising im alot like jobs friends
i like to give ppl advice
i like to point fingers at their lives and tell them what to do
but i dun really know how to encourage
i dun really noe how to mourn alongside them
to travail alongside them
to just be there when they need me
to make the suffering a little less and the soothing aliitle more

well to the ppl to whom ive been nothing but good adivce
i apologize
i'll try my very best to learn how to mourn alongside you next time

when it comes to blogging, blagging, doodling online or whatever you call it
hmm
well
many people would sometimes view it as an narcissistic exercise
i mean
hmm
well i guess its the idea of writing stuff for people to read
even my blog
which obviously doesnt get much traffic(i dont expect anyone to read this post)
but yeah
the worry is always there that people will eventually read what we write
formulate opinions and judgements on us
and yeah
come to own little conclusion on us
should i write down this- will it make me look shallow/like an ivory tower/ like so depressed emo junkie/ like some prude
do we write to impress?
do we write so that people can keep up to date with us
or maybe think a little kinder of us than we deserve

well
after such an expository
i havent actually made any points
so i guess i shd start
i guess blogging is
well
being public, but yet
gah
i guess i write because i figure if i stop writing, one day i fear id lose the ability to put my brain on paper
which i think is already happening
i blog because im a social misfit(well thats one reason)
i have no idea how to say the things i want to say face to face
hiding behind a computer screen
i guess it gives me super powers

the question is raised
what shd i blog about
the happy moments
the sad moments
the minute details of my life or the great big happenings- which are too few and far between
shd i blog about crap
or try to sound meaninful and insightive

i think im beginning to realise that the important thing is to be honest, even when blogging
many people feel my blog is depressive, well at least was depressive
well, on one hand, maybe i am/was a sad depressed emo junkie or something like that
or maybe i only blogged when i had something to whine abt
the happeir moments, which were fewer, i kept to myself
but trying not to be crude
thats my business
like ling quan once told me
since u wanted to post it
y not
its, the same i guess as speaking your mind
blog from the heart
and i guess from the mind/brain
no point worrying abt critics
cos we'll find them no matter the form of expression/except those they dont see
if people would gather their final observations of us from what we scribble on the internet
well
its speaks more about who they are than who we are
blog if u have something to say
blog when u have something to say
blog what you have to say
i guess, be it happy sad, deep, shallow, disturbing, encouragine, total nonsense
its a blog isnt it?
not some masterpiece or portfolio after all
blog and let the readers read
at their own peril and digression

time has crept up on us
now all our j1s have graduated
now we're a bunch of old fogeys
with only our memories, as proof of who we were

time has gone and taken away the ease
given us an awkwardness a silence hard to break
so much has gone on
how do u talk about it
how can u say the same things
when i, u, we're no longer the same
we've gone and grown up
grown apart
and whos to blame
how do you tell friends-forever-supposedly
that we're worlds apart

friendship adapts evolves i guess
but what are we now
i dun really know
we dun exist simply for the sake of hanging or going out
so what do we exist for
good feelings and good will die off sooner or later
are we dead yet

they've opened a starbucks at thompson plaza...... whooooooooooooo
ok fine
it has been opened for some time now(thx for the heads up short one)
but yeah i am living under a rock
the unmistakable conclucsion is that my standard of living thus goes up blah blah blah
and our ruling government is doing such a great job
heee
wadever

im thinking of getting a new guitar
this cheena brand called segovia
or something
yes i know, unknown brand from some cheeena factory and all
but hey
it sounded not bad k
and its not exactly budget bursting
lalala

anyways
ive decided to share one of my crazy dreams here
right here on my blog
whoo
no really
ok
actually it kinda sounds really corny and stuff
it has to do with the whole ideal of the rennasience man
you know the whole da vinci kinda guy
inclined in both the science and the arts
both an inventor and a philo/psycho hahaha kinda guy
i mean yeah
i could do without the potrait painting part
especially creepy potraits of women and stuff
but yeah
to be a complete man
holistic and stuff
ok maybe not that strong in the physical department and stuff
but using both halves of the grey matter and stuff
ive always loved the arts
eh
well
at least i think i do
and yeah
i guess my aptitude lies in the sciences
gah
all i know is that right now
both halves of my brain is rotting in army

anyways id like to right something abt one crazy dream that i no longer entertain
thank you, special person
for
for being you
too hardworking, too nice to disturb
for being so much fun to talk to
all the notes u lent me to photocopy
all the waking me up during f math lectures and stuff
u were
surreal i guess
to me in awhile
i guess im writing all this because ive finally grown out of it
i mean i guess i always had the biggest crush on you for a time
but i realise now
ur in a class of your own
hahaha
im much too
hmm
peasantry

anyways
i thank you
for being gracious with me
if i was too
hmm
too me
i'll always consider you to be such a great friend
one of my best
even though we dun talk tt much anymore
thanks for entertaining my calls on all the wrong days
and the promise of free donuts even though i got none
for always being you
so encouraging and stuff
yeah for being too nice
dun mug too hard
it'll give u wrinkles
thanks for being in awhile
uncorruptible and stuff
blah

anyways
thanks for meeting me for breakfast at bk and stuff
even with all the background disturbances and stuff
hahaha
yeah strange
all the definingg moments at pasir ris involve u
well at least in my mind
lalalal
may u find happiness in the coming year
yeah
find joy and all the contment in this life and the next

felicity

candycane dreams, mistletoe madness
oh whistful heartaches
wont you tarry with me awhile
forelorn longing, languid ruminations
let me catch my breath
let me stay the night
im falling sliding slipping drowning

dying

wont you be my anchor, my core

id give the world to stay
id lose myself to find you
you will be found
wont you
wont you

one totally randome thing i must say
im not the only freak
handsome wan also wants to get an auto license
so there

well todays a funny day
just found out one of my oldest friends(as in ive known him for way too long)
has gotten attached
not just but for a few months
sneaking around behind my back and stuff
lol

well
anyways
ive decided to do some random post on my likes and dislikes
since well
its christmas
and in case anyone wants to get me a really last last minute gift
hee

well lets see
i like
orange juice
cheese
er
good food in moderation
shopping(no im not a h******)
eh
the piagu piagu water dispenser from action city(even though i dont own one yet)
eh
music-christian rock
a house with a white picket fence hee

bleagh
anyways
i seem to have reached another point
where the water seems to have gotten stale
and im going nowhere
bleagh
dunno wad to say really

Dear Santa... Dear Santa, This year I've been busy! Last Thursday I saved a busload of nuns in Angola (326 points). In June I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last month I helped across the street (6 points). Last Wednesday I put money in 's expired parking meter (14 points). In February I got in line at the supermarket at the same time as someone else and I didn't yield (-8 points). Overall, I've been nice (262 points). For Christmas I deserve a shiny red ball! Sincerely, quekjr

lol i know this is ripped from LJ but i couldnt resist posting it

Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:

Daydream delusion
Limosine Eyelash
Oh, baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wine glass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet cakes and milkshakes
I am a delusioned angel
I am a fantasy parade.
I want you to know what I think.
Don't want you to guess anymore.
You have no idea where I came from.
We have no idea where we're going.
Launched in life.
Like Branches in the river.
Flowing downstream.
Cought in the current
I'll carry you, You carry me.
That's how it could be
Don't you know me, Don't you know me by now.

i have to share this poem
bleagh
for those of you who dont know
its from the movie Before Sunrise
one of the indie greats
gosh
i think its the best romantic film ive ever watched
but yeah
i guess sunday duties arent a total waste
well aside from staring my favourite actor and all
lalalal
anyways
i guess it got me thinking about conversation and how im really weak in that department
and how its not just about the talking but its about the connection

before i shoot myself in the foot or rather
having shot myself in the foot
i guess id better try and make sense of my previous outburst

firstly, im not pointing fingers at anyone blaming them for being caught up in boys university and army
and all
heck no matter where i go, i guess table talk is table talk
although i dont talk about boys
.................................................
but what i feel is that
hmm
gosh how to put it

its just that i feel we havent lived up to our calling
u know
its like how we used to advertise
sfc- not just a group who meets to pray

but i dunno
maybe we should have met to pray more
its not something about living up to expectations
but we forgot our fundamentals
not that we didnt pray and all
but
hmm
well
not to put down the whole bdae culture
in fact i was quite blessed by it
but yeah
hmm
somehow i dunno whether im just confused but some bdae plans were more intricate than our plans for prayer meetings

yes
its something ideological and all
but well
sfc
i just i guess expected more from myself
u know
being a SAINT FOR CHRIST member and all
i guess i had the high and lofty view of being beyond a normal group
i guess i forgot that being a group brings with it all the normalcy of problems, abit of politics here, and squabbles there
i just i dun know
maybe im going through a midlife crisis
you know
when im growing older
balding, getting a beer belly and wondering what happened to the dreams of my youth

gosh
no im not balding

i know no one ever talks about it
but well, i realised everytime i went out with aloy we talked about GOd
what HE was doing/is doing and stuff
i mean yeah
he doesnt hang out with us much anymore
and im guilty of not hanging out with him much too
but yeah

i just i guess
wish we were more orientated to the name that we bear

maybe its some hidden desire to be special or something
gah
i just wish, the admonishments, the encouragements, the spurring on
the iron sharpening iron
would i guess
be more obvious in the spiritual sense

maybe its just army getting to me
discolouring my world and making me a cynic
ahaha
but
i dunno
its just i guess
being ideological
living up to ideas is a tough bargain

sorry
im feeling confused
its like a sudden epiphany has caused my house of cards to come crashing down

but yes
we could have been so much more
what happened

and for those who thing im ruing some forsaken relationship
im not
its something i find altogether more serious

any group that deviates from its original aims and visions will ultimately lose itself
i guess that's what happened to us
we started of as a bunch of people
wanting to impact the school
wanting to bring revival
then we became caught up with each other and ourselves
and sooner or later
it feels now like we're more of a social club
a birthday club so to speak

fun and outings are fun and good
yes
but i guess we stopped supporting each other enough spiritually and focused more on social and emotional ties

tts wad i feel sometimes
its kinda sad
really
the state of things
how they've detoriated
not that its not my fault
but i guess we forgot
that while we did step down
we never should really have stepped down

i guess we failed la
we forgot
got distracted
when there was so much potential for spiritual growth
and well
fellowship that really brings out the best in people
but no
we concentrated more on what everyone else was interested in
and while yes
gossip and relationships are juicy
i think we've really missed the mark
bleagh
maybe im becoming deaf and dotard
but somehow this has been bugging me

we were supposed to be more than this
we are supposed to be more than this
we are more than this
but why arent we?

i realised i forgot to blog about guys day out ytd
ahahha
well i went to play badminton with a bunch of church ppl
and ended up christmas shopping with leslie poh and gerald ho
hahahah
super fun
and i got alot done too
wheeeeee
a disclaimer

just because i enjoy shopping
it doesnt make me a h*****

anyways
ive realised how alot of my tastes have changed
gosh
we went to starbucks
and the toffee nut latte was
wow

i used to swear by americano
but now im starting to wish starbucks was always on christmas specials
maybe its because ive learnt to live without a caffinne shock

anyways
today at fish and co. was interesting
on one hand i think im becoming hard of hearing
gah
too much loud rock music
how it will affect my sound career
gah
dont want to think about it
for the time being
anyways
ive realised how weve really all moved on
table talk for them revolves around their school lives and their social lives
and for guys like me around army and the lack of our social lives

bleagh

through some parts i felt quite removed
like ive become some stranger
entropy has a way of affecting friends
i guess
we all move on
and we dont always co-exist on the same frequency forever

well

hahahaha
i cannot resist
but i shall try my best

i have realised how some people have managed to remain NOT attached
let me repeat
NOT attached
its funny really how there is a SHORTage of UN-attached personnel
(if anyone asks, im talking about ian lau)
lol
lol

im getting the feeling that this post is totally random and pointless
but well

im thinking of changing my blog
i still love the minimalistic background
but well
i used to blog i guess
in a sense to assure myself of my existance
like how if i write down a part of me onto a fragment of the internet
i'll somehow have left my mark

but i guess i really haved changed from those times
i blog because
well
because i feel like saying alot of things sometimes
but there isnt really an audience

hai
i dont know why i cant seem to keep a monologue going in one direction
maybe its the depression i get from not being out of camp on a sunday
well
the bright side is i'll finally get to watch the indie classics:
before sunset
and
before sunrise

lalalala
i do enjoy romanticism in moving pictures and literature if done tastefully
but well
i guess im not that sentimental in real life

ive developed a liking for reading classics even though im no lit student
i want to read dante's inferno, homer's odessy and iliad and a translation of beowolf before i die
although id probably die from the attempt

i believe a bloggers post should reflect his psyche
and yes
mine is kinda random and disjointed at the moment
i feel like the whole metaphysical narrative is starting to become disordered

on a last note
i wish i knew kevin(sfc pres 06-07)
was enlisting so soon
i wanted to go out with him for a quick drink at least once
gah
and now he's in mohawk
omg
hai
well
we'll see after his confinement
maybe some arrangement will appear and all

im gonna die from all this randomness

blogging bcos im probably not gonna be able to blog for awhile

got alot of duties in camp

bleagh

9 points

brandon

please take 2 from me

*goes on my knees in a totally shamless act of emotional blackmail*





anyways

ahahah

this news is a week old

but i got a small scar of the letter "i"

on my left thumb

no im not into some new form of sado masochistic mortification

but yeah

i got it because had the brilliant idea of going round the medical centre in a wheel chair like 10 times in a wheelchair and i scratched myself on the wheelchair break
well it was fun(when ur only in a wheelchair out of choice)


lol

i know

my life is boring and bo liao

no great news about social outings

and great parties

and stuff



i stay in camp alot

bleagh

sorry timmy

sorry handsome wan

i dont want to do some sai gang in gedong

bleagh

id rather go cheer as they give out your chocolate bar

when u become some super popular musican

remember me ok

give me some business let me learn some sound stuff behind the scenes

and yeah

free memoriabilia and stuff
10% off all profits from sales

but i guess

God has been mercyful

as much as i havent exactly gotten the slackest treatment

or the most comfortable postings

yet i guess He's bringing me through all of this



i screwed up so many times on tuesday

but well

it turned out alright

i hope



anyways

just something thats been bugging me
but i suddenly feel old
gosh
no really
especially when i attend youth service recently
so many young personnel of whom i dont know 10% of their names(nor do i really plan on finding out)
now that all the old ones have moved on to young adults
i kinda feel stranded
in a strange land
gosh
well
like ive been saying
room for remorse but no regrets
yes i could have done more
served more
did more sound duties
but i guess i needed to learn how much church life really mattered
the hard way
i guess its Gods way of teaching a stubborn pig like me


so i guess i'll give it a shot
and do my best while im still in youth
no room for regrets

some days i feel like crying
other days i wish i could just lay down and die

but i go on
because i know that You are bringing me through this all
and i know You are good
oh so good
live the dream
look for a house with a white picket fence
lol

u may think the previous post was all fluff and happiness

but dont be fooled

ive still gotta book in tml

and live goes on

more crap, well almost literally

me blogging again
whooo
lol
sorry
i think ive grown more retarded recently


u may think halfway through this post that it is all fluff and happiness and somehow jeremys gone nuts
but dont be fooled
ive still gotta book in tml
and live goes on on its sucky tread
well done

well for starters
ive finally gotten to eat at the fig and the olive
wahahah
me and mr lian
not a bad place
if ur willing to spend 10 dollars for a touch of mediterranian
good stuff
kebab with olive bread and all that

hahah
ive just ended a week of off
and well
hmm
spent most of it in church(our new location)
helping with the new set up
it now looks soooooooooooooo professional
(hehe since i helped)
whahahahah
on another note
i feel the move of location is really good
in some ways i guess the move helps bring people out of a mode which they found really comfortable
a breath of fresh air
good
i think

anyways
i havent really blogged about what ive learnt during wallaby
hmm
it was a surreal trip
seemingly neverending
isolation
hahah
sounds like suvivor
but i guess ive realised how futile certain whims of mine were
we've all in the business of growing up
and i guess ive made quite some progress through the trip
wahahah
if i may say so myself

speaking of surreal experiences
i think my good friend tim25136512631 has had quite some in this past year
lol, the last time i used a simple alphanumeric name substitute someone found it funny
strange really
ive been thinking how else to hide his identity
anonyms like mr sfc, mr life concert, tim meyers, timmy emmanuel, mr buikit batok, mr chocolate bar,
gosh
i dun noe
maybe i should just call him handsome wan or something
bleagh

anyways
just a pickle on my mind
but it struck me
that even with all the ups and downs ive seen through with him(though not many)
the one that i found that really defines him would be during the prep stage for life concert
when a certain handsome wan was seriously rebuked by a man with defective face muscles
well handsome wan, never forget the lesson u learnt then
i dun know, but i feel through the whole road up to life concert, learning from that rebuke was the best/worst thing u went through
no matter how high u fly mr handsome wan, how many bars u get, or how big ur fan club grows
remain humble, remain teachable
and yes
remember as president of ur evergrowing tim wan fan club,
i reserve all paraphernalia merchandising rights
hee
oops
did i say something wrong
hahahah

anyways
todays sermon was by andrew yeo(gosh drools wahahha im in his fan club too)
anyways
it was about dreams
about how we should always hold onto our God given dream
well because its God given
sorry if i missed the point
i was busy laughing at the jokes
hai
the irony
funny preachers sometimes mislead people from the main message with their jokes
the more deadpan(emphasis on dead) ones make their point quite clear but fail to catch peoples attention
hai
well
anyways
hmm
yeah i guess i have kinda forgotten the dreams i used to have
not one for dream chasing
but yeah
hold on to your God given dreams
because they are God given
hmm
although i do have this (american) dream
of living in a nice house
with a white picket fence, beautiful wife and all that
lol
i think im another poor fool corrupted by western media

bleagh


anyways
cheers
to all those who will finally earn 1k plus a month and own a cool sword
on a side note
ive got a hongkee acquantance who
in london worked as a bank clerk
and earned 12 pounds an hour
doing the simple math of a 9-5 job 5 day work week
tt adds up to about 6 k a month
gosh

drools

ive decided
im gonna throw away my future job ambitions and uni education
fly to london and work as a bank clerk
and by the time i reach senior clerk
i'll come back and buy the whole of potong pasir
ahahhahahaha
and i'll own the opposition land, and i'll declare it a new state
jemland or something

ahhh
sweet bliss
lol
if u want to be called sir
go to macdonalds
if u want a sword
buy it at ceasars
but well, i guess ur way isnt tt bad too
ahahhahaha
cheeros
we need to go drinking sometime soon man
ahhhhhhh
and to all the people who do use my tagboard
strictly english please
i find chinese repulsive
even if u are my little sister

and yes all good things come to an end
and so i book in
and find myself in some vulgar alternate dimension
where assholes sit at the top of the ladder
gosh
what can i do
but suck my thumb and hold on
if ive learnt one thing at all
its not that life gets any better
but we become better people