its one of those nights, when im stuck in hall, albeit almost against my will
listening to emo songs on youtube, boys like girls, a fine frenzy and snow patrol

it promises to be a slow and boring night
oh wells

been feeling kind crappy this week

on another note
i think im learning more how to appreciate family
which i guess is great

dasgopherophbp'r

lost the mood to study, do any work or anything remotely productive

just love this xkcd guest strip done by the author of questionable content, another web comic i love

i know its gonna make me look like such a geek, but i actually found this funny

its 330am and i probably should be sleeping

part of me is wondering where have you been all my life
where have i been all my life

i think part of me is having a crisis of purpose
again

i know rhetoric about the metaphysical is pointless
and ive been down this neural walkway before
but i think theres a part of me that craves for that rush and awe again

im not really a nice guy
i get bored real easy
bored of people
well some people
and yes, im a terrible elitist

sometimes i wish i were either much smarter or much dumber

not smart enough to ride the undercurrent but not dumb enough to be ignorant
to percieve the door but to be keenly aware how beyond me it is

for some reason or other been feeling a little out of it the past few days
havent had to do much work or much else

was watching the first episode of californication on tv
yeah i know
a dinosaur show

maybe im catching up on some lost youth or something ala michael jackson, dont worry im not going to go change my skin colour or hit on small boys

i know ive used this quote before,
but its scary
how you can miss something you've never had so much

i think i may be losing my mental acquity,
tts such a scary thought, maybe im just tired
i hope

im really happy for you
but im kinda pissed you didnt tell me abt it

maybe im being a self-centred ass
and maybe part of this is my own doing

i just
argh
abjosppagahpb

recently on two seperate occassions, one last night, one a while ago, ive been having strange dreams of myself in a supermarket

ive decided to google it out of curiousity and to kill some time
lols
i think most of what they say out there on the net is probably crap
but yeah

some interpretations ive come across
1. we need or think we need accountability
2.denotes thrift and much activity in all occupations.
3.Needing to focus on making simple, basic decisions

Having a wide variety of options


4.means that you are emotionally and spiritually intense, or that you are in search of new ideas and new challenges 5.Groceries offer an endless and tempting variety of things. To dream of being in a market means you are faced with tough choices, all of which look perfect and inviting. You are shopping not just for material things, but for things that relate to your emotional or social needs. You might be concerned of making the wrong choice in spending your money/attention/energy.


lols
now im just wondering if the lack of coherence btwn articles is just a sign that these interpretations just pull words out of their asses trying to find a suitable explanation....
kinda like qm
as long as the math fits if we abuse it enough

so ive got nothing on ya

stupid mid terms, stupid stupidity

in an attempt to put in order and make sense of some of my thoughts, ive decided to start blogging abit more regularly

i think my mind works alot like an episode of the simpsons
lackign coherence, and going all over the place

so anyways
.
.
.

while walking back to hall today, i had that fleeting feeling again
something akin to what CS Lewis describes as that sheer northerness
im hoping its the same, but in a post-mordernistic world can experiences every be similar?
but yeah
that sense of awe and lonliness of the sheer scale of the world around us
i think one draw back of living in a globalised world is that we lose a true perspective of size
shrinking distances make us seem so much larger and all important
we lose our sense of relativity to sheer vastness

the heights, depths and volume of reality

i used to romanticise stoicism
but i think as ive grown (hopefully i have)
i learn more about of the virtues of weakness and vulnerability
how sometimes being simple and fragile is much

i wish i knew what pursuing something at all cost would feel like

honestly,
im just shit scared

lols found this poem watchin harrold and kumar escape from GB
ok fine, maybe i like it cos im a geek but anyways


The Square Root of 3 by Dave Feinberg




I'm sure that I will always be

A lonely number like root three



The three is all that's good and right,

Why must my three keep out of sight

Beneath the vicious square root sign,

I wish instead I were a nine



For nine could thwart this evil trick,

with just some quick arithmetic



I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321

Such is my reality, a sad irrationality



When hark! What is this I see,

Another square root of a three



As quietly co-waltzing by,

Together now we multiply

To form a number we prefer,

Rejoicing as an integer



We break free from our mortal bonds

With the wave of magic wands



Our square root signs become unglued

Your love for me has been renewed

inch chua @tab

had a really great great time out last night
went to tab at delfi orchard
and caught the set by inch chua
omg

she sang aqueous oblivion and find fix and save from her ep
and i felt like melting

mmm
after it stupid moss managed to prod me into taking a picture with her and
well i wouldnt say chat with her cos i was too shy
but yeah
it was great talking to her

gosh

im like pulling a fanboy moment here....
but yeah
whoo inch chua whooo

i dont really believe in the credibility of dreams

but having had a bible quiz on genesis recently, im wondering if maybe theres more to them than rem

anyways, i think i do need to take stock and learn to appreciate the people around me more

beer plus ping pong not equals beer pong

today was fun

i guess anytime i go out with that bum its fun
lols
didnt know drinking beer and playing ping pong at the same time could be so fun

thank God for friends who can read me like an open book sometimes
and on a side note, i need to learn to be less socially awkward

felt like crying on my way home today

how did we become so lost

because there isnt the lost cause of revival to fawn over?
have we simply lost marx's opiate of the people?

sometimes i wish it could be more easily rationalized
we learn in quantum mechanics that light, energy and momentum are quantised
meaning they exist in distinct packages

maybe purpose and reason exist in distinct quantities too

i only know im kinda short on both at the moment

we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.
~crash, 2004

today was queer

still trying to make sense of nothing happening

maybe its just my mindset that events must have metaphysical significance that makes we wish things we were more meaningful

sigh

lols, maybe we're just not fated to meet on sundays... lols

school started for a week plus and well its been taking some getting used to getting back in schedule

new hall, new environment

cant complain though, im not in aerospace having a crazy timetable packed with too many modules

i have so much to be thankful for
so many people i should be grateful for

i think i dont do it enough
appreciating people

well although it doesnt make much sense to do it here
since they probably wont see it cause they dont read it

but yeah thanks so much
mh for being my friend even though you one of the coolest guys i know
hahaha
room full of blues was great, but i think opening up to each other was better

thanks zaids for being so patient, willing to put up with our nonsense and all

thanks buddy group leaders for bearing with me jayce and tdd who is gone now

thanks eeli for probably being the only one who still reads... haha maybe not the only one but yeah

my talk with mh was great, made me realise people see the way i carry myself and the way i treat other people around me really does affect the people around me

id admit, i struggle alot with loving people
no thats a lie
i dont really try to put up a struggle
there are people i simply dont like, and i dont put in the effort to be civil to them
i just ignore them

i know that apathy being the antithesis of love is evil and all that

but

i guess the state of my life right now

maybe thats why i dont really like to blog nowadays
because it sometimes means coming to terms with the ugliness i see in myself
the apathy, the jealousy, the callousness, the narcissism

and no,
no cause for concern or worry,
this isnt some bout of depression and self pity

its just honest, harsh realistic introspection

reminded how some days it seems like we have existance forced upon us without our permission
and we're dragged kicking screaming cursing into day
baptised by trial and fire into a hostile world, which reflects for us to see the ugliness of our souls

but yeah
im grateful, at least on the days when it does strike me
for the friends ive made who stand by me, and make me remember that there is warmth and love in the world,
that though we dont have much, we have each other
cheers

i probably should find a more suitable template but im lazy

sch is on the brink on starting and im strangely looking forward to it

although
yes after thinking about what you said
i think i am a bad influence
i shall start asking the people around me to mug from now on

changed my template abit.... lols cos well who the heck reads my blog anyways??!!!

friends i was out with today with brought up an interesting point

that instead of sa i should have gone to one of the top schs in singapore
get a proper education
then instead of getting the mindset that i probably wouldnt get a scholarship if i tried
i would be driven and all
maybe be in some ivy league place somewhere far away challenging myself
maybe

if u asked me a few years ago if i would change my choices if i could turn back time
i would probably refuse

but time it seems makes a fool of us all

i mean like why the hell not
go to some place where they would groom me to be the best
get teachers to brainwash me: that i have a bright future and am the future leader of tomorrow and all that bull

maybe things would be better
maybe id be out there right now seeing the world, having the rest of my life laid out ahead of me

maybe id have a little something called ambition
doesnt the world and everybody like to see that in a person
and with that a whole lot of swagger and attitude

heck, i may even be one of them elitist bastards, (i seem to have met alot recently)
pompous jerks who only aim for the top and trample on everyone who doesnt get out of their way

well ive met enough of these "highfliers" to think that it probably doesnt make a difference

heck, maybe all the real highfliers are busy flying too high studying overseas at havard or mit to meet me, so my uneducated opinion is simply just that

my favourite author whom i havent quoted in awhile did note that its useless talking about what might have been because in any case,
it isnt
and aside from what is (though some quantum mechanics metaphysicist may say with their metaphysical theories of alternate universes sprouting everytime we make a decision)
there is no other

some days though, i do wish i knew what i wanted
maybe it wouldnt be too bad even if it proved to be some illusive dream

Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me

firstly because this blog is a place to rant
and secondly, because i no one would care if i told them how these little things irritate me

forgive me if im too overcritical of preachers.... its just me i think

1) I have a thing against preachers quoting einstein... actually i have something against most people quoting einstein....

they think they lend credibility to what they say just because the mention the name of one of the greatest minds....

einstein was not a christian, and while he had jewish heritage, i doubt he was observing....
while he was not an atheist either, unless preachers intend for me to embrace my theistic sprinkled with agnosticism leanings

hai

i just feel strongly that normal people should try to refrain from making such quotations which make them seem, ironically in this case, retarded...

2) ur little experiment with the benjamin franklin quotation while interesting for playing on academic stereotypes, failed in other ways

the whole point of that refrain to me seemed to be more about the importance of care, especially the care for the details and the intangibles....

it seemed to me more like a reminder to brush my teeth and tie my shoelaces than a useful note to be mindful of sin....

i did quite well for my exams again
thank God
i guess
although honestly my faith has been quite a struggle

actually not even a struggle

feels like im just letting go in that department
i dont know

dun ask why please

so what shall we say about this wakeful dream
this brief sobriety called life
love laughter warmth and merriment grow flourish bubble up
but entropy catches up and we are soon lost in the cold vastness of space

so intoxicated by our own youth,
we forget the ephermal fleeting nature of our existance

here for our brief day in the sun
and before we know it

gone

the ancients built pyramids and cast numbers in stone,
hoping to be remembered in ignomy long after their passing

you were so full of love and promise
but you were snatched away so suddenly
before we could erect our own monuments or scream our message into the darkness

you will be missed
and i do know that the world is an alot colder place
now that your gone
mr congeniality

reached daejong a day ago... well
its not as happening as seoul
less night life
less street food

but yeah
visiting the koean uni has been interesting
and yeah having a pretty korean girl guide us around aint bad too

so this is my second night in korea
and i have been in seoul and loving it

haha
sorry to all those whom i told that i wasnt going to seoul
i tot we were going to dajeong or something like that
we are but we are spending more time in seoul first playing
woots

but yeah
beautiful place
nice ppl

cant really get kimchi, but the rest of the food isnt half bad

the clothes sizes here are abit small though... which makes it abit hard to shop
maybe i'll just get shoess
sorry
being materialistic again
but yeah

i just love being out of singapore

and korea is a beautiful place
makes one wonder whats wrong with the current place i live in
hahaha

omg, i just pulled an eric cheonging my cnyrp report
lols
thanks so much ming han
for being a slacker
so i didnt have to be the only one stuck in school up at 3 doing a report....
hhahhaa
i would buy you a drink but you dont drink so i'll just buy myself two

anyways, what a perfectly retarded way to end my last night of the first semester

hope i didnt screw up my research too badly....
oh wells

nothing a stiff drink cant solve

its sad really how people are still getting hurting over it
its been what nearing one year now

why cant some retards just learn to let go

found a new webbie with random math/science related comics

and yeah

this is why i usually dont talk about the joys of math with others

we learn in physics that despite what they teach you in secondary school
actions cannot and do not act at a distance
there's always a field mediating the stress

i guess im realising that there is no point keeping some things the way they are when all thats between us is dead space and stale air

time to cut myself free and move on i guess....

we keep telling ourselves that we've moved on, that we dont care anymore
but i think the problem is that we havent and we cant....

never thought that the weirdos and outcast would be the ones who'd hold on to what we had so tightly




a little gem i found on youtube... loving the glockenspiel...

its not a xylephone... xylephone notes are made of wood....

thanks to ming han, this song is now making rounds in my head


so enjoy

Let me set this straight
i don't "emo"
"emo-ing" is what teengaers do when tehy try to make sense of the angst and confusion a change in hormones bring

I simply dont have the time or emotional energy to emo
yes, i do contemplate a gamut of thoughts and emotions, remininsce in the past, rue my mistakes and missed chances while cling on to the flukes i consider my triumphs...
i do view my future and general lack of direction with trepidation and sometimes carry a sense of melachony others may not deem healthy,

but there is no real need to worry about me..
im not some younge puberscent adolescent who might cut his wrist at mere heartbreak

i may need a drink to tide me through the night
but i wake up the next day and deal with my own shit
because thats what adults do right??

i just hope we never outgrow laughing chilling hanging around
i hope we never run out of time to lavish on the unproductive, spending hours just chilling or singing out of tune

i think ive always been disorganised?
but im beginning to realise the true extent to which it reaches

i think even my thoughts are a mess

oh wells

think im over the hump

mmm
now if i can just get down to typing up my school work... then everything will be peachy
well maybe not everything

but i think theres just so much to be thankful for

so yeah
thanks
i guess

lols.... emo song for emo days

well i caught the first 2 episodes of the latest season of House
i must say, i didnt really like the first episode much
mmm
not that it was bad

but i guess i felt out of mode
seeing that sacarstic, cooky anti-hero,
who i must admit to semi-idolizing; thrown into a mental institution

well why do i like the character so much?
maybe i resonate with the sacarsm and the meaness

but teh second episode kinda grew on me
it reminded me that no matter, how strong, or apathetic we think we are
we all have needs
we all can get hurt
and we all have psychological defects one way or the other

and while its hard
its worthwhile trying to still be humane

and i guess im giving up without trying?
i guess for me this will always been one of those
what could have been crossroads
but things as they are arent too bad
and i dont think i want to try fixing what isnt broke,
everything except my heart i guess

i still think im too nice

well i havent exactly seen the ocean?
lols

but ive decided
that i'll live through this
and hopefully become, bigger, stronger, wiser, and more beautiful

mmm
well maybe not bigger... cos im big enough
but yeah

I think ive gotten too used to cruising through life, so much so that ive forgotten how to pedal the gas, and pursue the things I really want
I keep telling myself to wait, for a better time, that next week, month or sem will be the opportune time, but ive missed too many, waited for spring to find the trees falling off the leaves again...
to come back for my bounty, only to find it claimed by another...

Letting every chance to live pass me by
I keep telling myself I don’t really know what I want, but even when I do, I think Im too used to acting like I don’t
I think im too scared, too caught up in wanting to be nice…
what am i actually afraid of?
their glances their glares
making a fool of myself?
of losing things, ive nvr really owned?
what is this reaching out yet recoiling in trepidation...
to fear the familiar and the unknown
why am i still here...
a place strange yet too much familiar

we never really do change do we
we grow up
grow stronger
grow older
grow wiser
but still the same demons and skeletons
still a small insignificant blip on the radar
the trivia on the bottle cap

But nobody remembers the nice amiable, amicable guys; the footnotes
I want to be missed, I want to be remembered… maybe im being narcisstic here, but at least im being honest.

one in the head and the heart

well what to do
bite the bullet
move on
live on

well
i'm still here

it was such a blast
ok maybe im being biased because there was carlsberg on draft, free food, and i got to be part of a band for one night
but yes
the whole cny annual dinner was really a blast

and im so proud of all my band mates
penguin, ashley, joe and especially li hui

mmm
there was abit of nerves
but once we started, i think we did pretty darn good

i just hope the photos dun come back to haunt me

i think one thing guys are very susceptible to is needing an activity or a pursuit to embolden our sense of identity

i think ever so often
we find ourselves labelling ourselves along the lines
im a basketball kinda guy
or a debate kinda guy
or in my case... a slack... oh wells, thats not really a thing
but tts my point

mayhaps because of how much we dont have a clear idea of self
we latch on to these things or ideals
these things bigger than ourselves, like parasites
hoping we'd count for more
just because we're into running every other night
or we can do calculus better than mere mortals

mm in case u get the impression i run every other night i dont
but thats not the point either

just happened to see this video of this 8 yr old kid doing calculus
so i guess ive lost my edge as well

i think we're so much more than the things we're into or good at?
each of us is capable of so much kindness and resolve

i think it's really sad if any of us belittle ourselves just because we cant run a mile without dying
or cant dance, or cant grasp 4 dimensional hyperspaces in our heads for that matter

the unassuming ones always seem to ask the most poignant questions

we all want to be needed, and need to feel wanted....
but i lack the intestinal fortitude to admit that i need you........

I guess God was right when he figured it was not good for man to be alone

and yeah
i guess we are friends, although i hate the semi-church tag...
kinda sensitive to it... its complicated i guess

i apologize in advance for being a lousy friend... i'll try my best...

i need you
i guess

im missng you already

while talking to lian today, mmm
other than learning about various interesting happenings

i was reminded of something that really helps me
there are so many what ifs in life

what if i was smarter, taller, more handsome,
what if i went to some elite sch instead of everyones fav sch in an opposition ward

but when we do that we are talking rubbish
senile rot if i may so call it

what did not happen does not exist....
yes it could have been, but how are we to know
unless some alternate dimension is out there, with a jeremy,
who is smarter than me, more charming and maybe even gay....

its sobering really, how fast time moves on
and people change and drift apart

and we lose the things we used to stand for, and the ground gets taken from under our feet

but im thankful that at every stage of my life since i can remember,
well maybe except one very awkward stage

ive always had friends to chill with on a daily basis

i think thats been one of my greatest blessings

went for a talk on braids in physics by Prof CN Yang
if you dont know who he is, well you better not be studying phyics or science for that matter
cos he is a nobel laureate.....
actually before i came to ntu i didnt even know who he was
hahahaha

oh wells
but im glad fedor asked me to go for the talk
i dont know
its kinda like stuff came together in my mind again?

mmm
maybe thats not a good sign, since every major decision i make seems to be based on signs ala paulo coehlo style
well i chose ntu because of the ad on the back of a bus
and i left my previous church because of..........

but i guess it was comforting to hear how topology, a pure math could be analogous to the path of fermions
cause ive been tryign to understand closed plane curves to no avail

but yeah
i guess i should put more thought into it before jumping into pure math instead of applied math as my major

if only

we could choose the hands we were dealt

the way things are now, theres so much to be thankful for
i guess

but it seems that our lot is the dearth of dreams
for a moment there i thought i found another
but it seems we're lonely poor souls in this waking world

if only we could chill, joke, laugh and mess around forever
i dont want these days to end

the first song in a long time to give the chills

This great evil - where's it come from?
How'd it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this?
Who's killing us, robbing us of life and light?
Mocking us with the sight of what we might of known?
Does our ruin benefit the earth, aid the grass to grow and the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you, too?
Have you passed through this night?

we are a messed up bunch
born into broken times in a broken world

well at least we have each other
some days

thank you ming han for giving me ur explosions in the sky stuff

i was just remininscing with my roomate of how cny seems with every passing year
to become something more of dread than joy

i think it has to do with how we lose the magic growing up

disillusioning really

the money and the food are the same, but i guess we lose the best parts of ourselves as we mature sometimes

i just cant stand relatives who honestly dont need to know asking me why im studying mathematics and what kind of a job im gonna do in the future
or asking me why im not attached yet, or telling me i put on weight

honestly, who cares
not everyone studies for the sake of finding work in the future

i cant stand cny
cos its a reminder that even the things we used to treasure and look forward to
we one day will no longer
and that blood isnt always thicker

wow two posts in one day
maybe im out to prove something

i was sitting eating my dinner in canteen b(yes really sad) and i noticed that the sky was that particular hue it always reaches just before it gets dark
and then it started raining

and for a moment there
i felt that tinge in my heart

that longing that we get when we're percieving something beautiful and we wish for someone to share it with

i guess i wouldnt mind
having someone to share the beautiful things in life with
the sunset sky
the rain on the window pain and the thunder
the beach in Nice, France
listening to stormy by lifehouse while in the back of a jeep surrounded by wilderness

some moments i must admit
it gets lonely looking at the sky alone

men without chest

i think ive had an epiphany into why im so reluctant to blog nowadays

its probably the subconscious realisation that i lack the ability to write anything truly beautiful (maybe it has something to with being a math student)
i think the mark of any good writer is he manages with simple words to transcend the form and peek into something nebulous and unobtainable

cheryl chen once mentioned to me, that its God's way of doing things, to let the dreams He gives us die, before fulfilling them in His time

well i dont know about the second part
but i think dead dreams are what i have plenty of now

im no renaissance men, and looking at my lack of wonder, i wont make it as a philosopher either

sometimes i wonder if i throw myself into mathematics not as some form of self-mortification

i guess there is beauty in math too.... somewhere somehow
but its form is alot more abstract than im capable of on any normal day

i think ive gotten good at walking away from churches

well i was never very good at integrating in the first place
but i fear that its become something of a habit
wait did i just make a pun
oh well it wasnt intended
and i am good at calculus, its the social thing i struggle at

so we rent our clothes and grovel in the dirt
because we are dust,
mere dust

on another note
it seems my blog has found a new follower
well thank you so much
i think its flattering that you consider anything i write worth reading
although it may very well have been by mistake
and might i say you right much more beautifully than i could ever hope to

and i must apologize to mr lian for borrowing your title
but on somedays, i think i for one lack the moral courage to face the next day

i know i claimed that i would stop the narcisstic posts about myself and my opinion

but yeah
cant help myself

lols

anyways
a bunch of sch mates were like bringing up the question of what characteristics i like in a girl

and it dawned on me today(the events are quite far apart)
that what i would look for in a partner would be inspiration
i think if you do get together with someone
that person should be someone who inspires you to be better than you are
better than you think you are or can be at any rate

im making it sound like im asking for a joan of arc or a mother theresa
but anyways
it seems like wishful thinking
cause if i really do meet someone amazing who inspires me
i doubt id be much of an inspiration myself

oh wells
hopeful thinking is free isnt it

a song,

dedicated to memories bittersweet

and to moving on

to having the moral courage to face the day ahead

and to being human

Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied, broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.
It reminds me of places of times we shared.
Couldn't live locked in these memories.
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.

And I tried to forget when I left this town,
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

I need some shelter, I need some safety.
Photographs, they haunt me lately.
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.

And no where else has ever felt like home.
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
In my mind, I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Falling slowly
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Again another blogpost i cant identify with but for the sake of rememberance
they showed once on the tv in the hotel in KL

and yeah i fell in love with the whole idea of the show
shaky camera shots
dialogue so real, its trivial at times
everyday dialogue where we dont say what we mean,

and the bittersweet ending
how love is an impossibility and an incovenience at times
how we just go on living

if u havent heard the song u should

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

well as u probably can guess, this is the poem in the movie invictus
a favorite of mendela during his time of imprisonment
i think the magic of the movie was more of mendelas story than the boks but thats just me
i wish i could identify more with this poem but i think i fall rather short


anyways... i thought id let this blog die, but i gather maybe i should at least make an update once in awhile
mmm
maybe the age of narcissism has died out
or maybe i dont have an opinion anymore
whatever the case

check out invictus
if not for the fake rugby
for the story of a man who after 30 years in jail came out ready to forgive those whom put him there