wow another post today, must be the weekend mood
my weekend mood is quite different id expect from others
i hate weekends, and i cant wait for them to be over.

why?
because there's only so much that can go on in school to hurt me socially or emotionally?
and in generally i dont come out feeling more refreshed on weekends?

its tiring playing the good churchgoer, and being all cordial since ur supposed to love people you dont really like; very often i get tired from having to censor the bulk of my wayward and judgemental thoughts when i hear some incoherent sermon. (I never figured out why we're taught to listen to every sermon like its precious, i mean sure God can speak through fishermen, but when He does, i bet the people listening noticed the difference, and i'll listen when i can see the difference)

sigh another tirade

so anyways what i actually wanted to blog about was prayer.

i had this random question run thru my head
does prayer only work forward or does it work backward

most people.... well actually i have no idea how the main population think,
but i shall assume (since i like to play the contrarian) that they think that prayer only works forward
ie. you have to pray before an event in order for your prayers to have any effect

i was wondering however whether praying after the said event would work too i mean since i suscribe to the theology that God is outside of time.

It is i must admit a very enticing stand since it helps explain if God can save people who lived before Jesus' time. However passages such as in daniel, where daniel's prayers hasted the angels trip become a problem

i of course believe that we pray because it makes a difference. what difference and how, i have no fixed opinion on. I refuse to believe that God cant act on his own agenda, since majority of our prayers probably arent very spiritual at all, and i also dont believe He only acts when we prayer, since the church obviously doesnt pray enough, and thus it probably would have died out if God had to rely on people praying. I do believe that prayer can and sometimes changes Gods mind, but whether this contradicts with omnicscience, hmm, maybe our prayers work rather as a justification for mercy, which would be congruent with Abraham pleading for Sodom and Gomorrah, or how the Israelites needed blood on the doorpost, as if an angel of death couldnt differentiate between Jew and Egyptian (i see the blood on the doorpost as a justification for mercy).

I do believe that it pleases God to pray, and also we cant claim to care alot about something if we dont pray for it.

as you can see i believe in many paradoxical things at once, which is fine with me since im truly a postmodernist.

Being a postmodernist i also have no problems not answering my own questions, since not all questions have answers, at least not on our side of eternity.

Is it wrong to be christian and a postmodernist at the same time?
well the bible doesnt say its wrong (hehe, of course postmodernism is quite a new ideology) but many prominent christians tend to think so, since christianity is kind of about absolute truths,
and being a postmodernist tends to put me at odds with the majority of fundamentalist christians (whom i obviously look down on)

then again, some say postmodernism is over and the new post post modernists, tend to take authority at its word....

well anyways, the whole gamut of beliefs and differing theologies dont exactly make the case for fundamentalism. How can all of these slightly differing truths be absolute, unless one is right and the rest well-meaning but mistaken and how am i to know to know which one is the correct one?
the local theology? (any search algorithm programmer would tell you that while it is understandable to mistake the local maxima for the global one, it is WRONG)
the one that agrees well with my worldview?(the exact problem with theology nowadays and in the past, so much of it was shaped to match the contemporary world view, that alot of what we belief to be solidly biblical is actually just enlightment philosophy)

or did God just intend for different christians to believe different things
doest seem to agree with i am the way the truth and the light

some people would pull the faith card, but exactly, why not have faith that God meant for me to be a postmodernist?

so anyways, i guess i'll just continue to pray,
admittedly less than i ought to, and more that my brain tells me is logical to.

walking back to hall in the rain today,
i realised how much of a blessing it is that God causes it to rain on both the just and unjust.

i love rain
but that aside, if blessings were exchanged for browny points,
bad christians like me,
disfunctional christians who fail to be just, sometimes by shortcoming, other times by design
would find ourselves in a much more arid environment


Thank You God, for being beyond fairness and propriety
that grace is more for the sinner than the pharisee,
and that making the book of life is different from making santa's mailing list.

one question, how do you really be good for goodness sake, if you get presents under a tree for it

i dont want whatever ur peddling anymore
please go away and let me alone