i know i claimed that i would stop the narcisstic posts about myself and my opinion

but yeah
cant help myself

lols

anyways
a bunch of sch mates were like bringing up the question of what characteristics i like in a girl

and it dawned on me today(the events are quite far apart)
that what i would look for in a partner would be inspiration
i think if you do get together with someone
that person should be someone who inspires you to be better than you are
better than you think you are or can be at any rate

im making it sound like im asking for a joan of arc or a mother theresa
but anyways
it seems like wishful thinking
cause if i really do meet someone amazing who inspires me
i doubt id be much of an inspiration myself

oh wells
hopeful thinking is free isnt it

a song,

dedicated to memories bittersweet

and to moving on

to having the moral courage to face the day ahead

and to being human

Oh, how I've tried to get you out of my head.
And I lied, broken words I said.
Never thought I'd walk on this street again.
Standing where it all began.

Tried to forget when I left this town,
But it takes me right back when I come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Oh, how I find every subtle thing screams your name.
It reminds me of places of times we shared.
Couldn't live locked in these memories.
Now I'm chained to my thoughts again.

And I tried to forget when I left this town,
But I'll take you right back if you come back around.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

I need some shelter, I need some safety.
Photographs, they haunt me lately.
Chasing shadows as the evening takes me.
I'm still searching, but the picture's fading.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
I'm back there by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards, still counting backwards.

And no where else has ever felt like home.
And I can't fall asleep when I'm lying here alone.
I replay your voice, it's like you're here.
You move the earth, but now the sky is falling.

Retrace the steps we took on that long summer night.
In my mind, I'm back by your side.
Retrace the steps we took when we met worlds away.
Counting backwards while the stars are falling.

Falling slowly
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You'll make it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Again another blogpost i cant identify with but for the sake of rememberance
they showed once on the tv in the hotel in KL

and yeah i fell in love with the whole idea of the show
shaky camera shots
dialogue so real, its trivial at times
everyday dialogue where we dont say what we mean,

and the bittersweet ending
how love is an impossibility and an incovenience at times
how we just go on living

if u havent heard the song u should

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

well as u probably can guess, this is the poem in the movie invictus
a favorite of mendela during his time of imprisonment
i think the magic of the movie was more of mendelas story than the boks but thats just me
i wish i could identify more with this poem but i think i fall rather short


anyways... i thought id let this blog die, but i gather maybe i should at least make an update once in awhile
mmm
maybe the age of narcissism has died out
or maybe i dont have an opinion anymore
whatever the case

check out invictus
if not for the fake rugby
for the story of a man who after 30 years in jail came out ready to forgive those whom put him there