im in a dilemma,

inconsistancis always manifest themselves
and ive got plenty

what do you do when how u live, what u believe and the circumstances around you are all at odds?

anyways feel like posting the lyrics of this song by thousand foot krutch...
haha they're a heavy rock band but yeah

"Go"
I know the way you feel
The way you view incompetence
So we have to remedy
Our extreme lack of confidence

I love the way you move
You cover me like oxygen
Touched by your innocence
We come to you with hearts open

I love the way you are
The way you move, the way you speak,
And I like the way you heal
The hole inside, that's incomplete

I know the way you feel
The way you view incompetence
I have to remedy
And make this up again

And when I feel this way, it's hard not to let...

[Chorus]Go, when I feel, like I feel, the way I feel
Go, I"m into you, just help me find a way this time
Go, when I feel, like I feel, the way i feel
Go, let it grow, wind me up and let me go

I love the way you twist, the way you're so mysterious
We'll have to stay in line, to let you know we're serious
I know the way you've seen, the way your hands have covered me
Touched by your gratitude, I'll break the skin and come undone

Stand up, the itme is now
Look at the faces in the crowd,
Do you want to just be one?
Or will you choose to overcome?

Stretch, take off your hurt
Leave your anger in the dirt
No more feelings, let it work
Let the growing take over

sometimes we get so tired of everything
so bothered by whats around us
that we throw ourselves at whatever walls we can find
seeking any sensation but that despair and hurting that comes from inside

i dont hate all of you
i hate myself for letting me be affected by you

houdini was right
the hard part isnt disappearing
its in the reappearing afterwards which is the problem

watch me as i go
go become nothing

so my house of cards collapses once again
it never ends does it
break me down crush me to nothingness
tear me away
till all thats left is whats thats real

over and over,
it never seems enough does it
when will sick cycle stop

im tired
of trying but never getting there
when
how
why

You speak a few words into the midst of the storm
nothing changes
but it everything becomes alright
does it?

if you must know
no im not ok
does it matter?
not really
do i care?
i guess i do
do i want to talk about it?
i cant even find words for myself

i hate it when well meaning people try and put up an intellectual or scientific defense of their Christian faith



no, im not becoming a staunch atheist or agnostic

my beef is this,

God needs no defense

salvation should never be guarded from a position of defense....

its cringe worthy when people attempt to convince others with half baked hearsay

and facts they pull from the internet when they dont really have empirical evidence



God didnt ask us to prove him, to do a lab test on Him to show He's there

why bother to try and impress intellectuals with numbers and facts and anthropology



believe God and His word because you choose to,

His wisdom is foolishness to the worldly wise anyway

i think id rather be fool

isnt a fools hope all that we have

i'm doing this because? probably to kill the sianness

Rules of the Taggy Quiz:

A] People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

B] Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

Here are my answers:



#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?

feel betrayed? sorry retarded answer.... wellll i dont have a lover, so its kinda hard to hypothesise...mmm seems contradictory these themes of love and betrayal, almost like a soap drama..... i mean id love to be benevolent and say id forgive the person, but im probably too selfish for that..... well if it ever happens we'll see





#2. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?

day dream or REM dream?

well if its REM dream probably not the ones where i was chased around by some maniacal clown

day dreams....mmmmm too many to chose from......to become something great, sorry sounds corny.... sorry but yeah, i guess thats the parallel emphasis running through my wishful thinking





#3. If you could be at one place right now, where would it be?

on some island paradise with a cocktail with the tiny umbrella in my hand, and a unlit havanna in my mouth(i dont smoke but id like to touch an actual havanna



#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

duh



#5. What's your ideal lover like?

someone sweet but not diabetes inducing,

intelligent, but not too much more than me, mmm with a slightly twisted sense of humour, able to put up with my nonsense, can understand thoughts i wrestle with,



but more importantly, to be someone deserving of admiration? i guess with some amazing traits and a peculiar sense of self and identity(being a person rather than a social byproduct)



and hopefully decent looking enough (oh well, cant i be allowed to be abit shallow?)



#6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

well we're all amazingly blessed already because we are loved by some One....

but i think that being said and used as the norm, i guess it is a blessing to be capbable of loving someone



#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

hopefully long enough?



#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

let it remain a secret?



#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

many things.... well there's always army

and i guess much discontent with the state of my own life, and the state of things around me





#10. What do you want most in life?

to eat some good beef pie? no seriously

to become something i would be proud of?(sorry if it sounds wierd)





#11. Is being tagged fun?

gee whiz





#12. How do you see yourself in ten years time?

single and poor





#13. Who is the current most important person to you?

my doppelganger





#14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

good question.... mmm

someone with a mind, with opinions i guess id respect, quirky enough to be interesting,
i dun really know what to say

bleagh

#15. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
id rather not, but id probably end up being single and poor


#16. If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be?
i already have my younger brother?
but i guess i wouldnt mind a little polar bear

#17. What are one of those things which you would prefer not to do?
the quiz maker obviously doesnt have very good grammer....
mmmmmm
not have to serve out the rest of my ns?

#18. What kind of person do you think you are?
not a very kind one?
mmmmm

#19. What do you define as a bad day?
every other day? lol
sorry its just me being moody
i guess tiring days, where i get to see alot of the uglier side to people, where nothing gets achieved and i just end up a day older, which seems to happen alot.....
actually even then its usually ok... mmm i guess the days which dont live up to expectations




#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
isnt friendship a form of love?
ok fine, lets pretend i understand the poorly phrased question for a moment......
id want to say love bcause i guess i take my friends for granted too much
but i dont think im ready for it


well then now it comes down to who i want to see do this quiz
mmmm well
if u dont get chosen
its a)because im not really interested in how u might answer
b)i think you're predictable
c)you're answers will probably be too politically correct/optimistic/mushy that id live better not knowing?
or d) because i dont know that you read my blog
so if ur insulted, well mmm ur in category d?

anyways
so here
erm lian, tim, joelynn, yvonne
the rest of you even if u did the quiz i wouldnt go hunting for ur answers so bleagh

highlights in her hair
my epiphany
sparkle in her eyes
crucifies me
nudge, sway, pout, glance
takes me, breaks me, crushes kills me
oh to hold you for awhile
reduce me to nothingness within
ardent bliss, summer serenades
this hollow shell, this masquerade
would you love me?
would you know me