its sobering really, how fast time moves on
and people change and drift apart

and we lose the things we used to stand for, and the ground gets taken from under our feet

but im thankful that at every stage of my life since i can remember,
well maybe except one very awkward stage

ive always had friends to chill with on a daily basis

i think thats been one of my greatest blessings

went for a talk on braids in physics by Prof CN Yang
if you dont know who he is, well you better not be studying phyics or science for that matter
cos he is a nobel laureate.....
actually before i came to ntu i didnt even know who he was
hahahaha

oh wells
but im glad fedor asked me to go for the talk
i dont know
its kinda like stuff came together in my mind again?

mmm
maybe thats not a good sign, since every major decision i make seems to be based on signs ala paulo coehlo style
well i chose ntu because of the ad on the back of a bus
and i left my previous church because of..........

but i guess it was comforting to hear how topology, a pure math could be analogous to the path of fermions
cause ive been tryign to understand closed plane curves to no avail

but yeah
i guess i should put more thought into it before jumping into pure math instead of applied math as my major

if only

we could choose the hands we were dealt

the way things are now, theres so much to be thankful for
i guess

but it seems that our lot is the dearth of dreams
for a moment there i thought i found another
but it seems we're lonely poor souls in this waking world

if only we could chill, joke, laugh and mess around forever
i dont want these days to end

the first song in a long time to give the chills

This great evil - where's it come from?
How'd it steal into the world?
What seed, what root did it grow from?
Who's doing this?
Who's killing us, robbing us of life and light?
Mocking us with the sight of what we might of known?
Does our ruin benefit the earth, aid the grass to grow and the sun to shine?
Is this darkness in you, too?
Have you passed through this night?

we are a messed up bunch
born into broken times in a broken world

well at least we have each other
some days

thank you ming han for giving me ur explosions in the sky stuff

i was just remininscing with my roomate of how cny seems with every passing year
to become something more of dread than joy

i think it has to do with how we lose the magic growing up

disillusioning really

the money and the food are the same, but i guess we lose the best parts of ourselves as we mature sometimes

i just cant stand relatives who honestly dont need to know asking me why im studying mathematics and what kind of a job im gonna do in the future
or asking me why im not attached yet, or telling me i put on weight

honestly, who cares
not everyone studies for the sake of finding work in the future

i cant stand cny
cos its a reminder that even the things we used to treasure and look forward to
we one day will no longer
and that blood isnt always thicker