Let me set this straight
i don't "emo"
"emo-ing" is what teengaers do when tehy try to make sense of the angst and confusion a change in hormones bring

I simply dont have the time or emotional energy to emo
yes, i do contemplate a gamut of thoughts and emotions, remininsce in the past, rue my mistakes and missed chances while cling on to the flukes i consider my triumphs...
i do view my future and general lack of direction with trepidation and sometimes carry a sense of melachony others may not deem healthy,

but there is no real need to worry about me..
im not some younge puberscent adolescent who might cut his wrist at mere heartbreak

i may need a drink to tide me through the night
but i wake up the next day and deal with my own shit
because thats what adults do right??

i just hope we never outgrow laughing chilling hanging around
i hope we never run out of time to lavish on the unproductive, spending hours just chilling or singing out of tune

i think ive always been disorganised?
but im beginning to realise the true extent to which it reaches

i think even my thoughts are a mess

oh wells

think im over the hump

mmm
now if i can just get down to typing up my school work... then everything will be peachy
well maybe not everything

but i think theres just so much to be thankful for

so yeah
thanks
i guess

lols.... emo song for emo days

well i caught the first 2 episodes of the latest season of House
i must say, i didnt really like the first episode much
mmm
not that it was bad

but i guess i felt out of mode
seeing that sacarstic, cooky anti-hero,
who i must admit to semi-idolizing; thrown into a mental institution

well why do i like the character so much?
maybe i resonate with the sacarsm and the meaness

but teh second episode kinda grew on me
it reminded me that no matter, how strong, or apathetic we think we are
we all have needs
we all can get hurt
and we all have psychological defects one way or the other

and while its hard
its worthwhile trying to still be humane

and i guess im giving up without trying?
i guess for me this will always been one of those
what could have been crossroads
but things as they are arent too bad
and i dont think i want to try fixing what isnt broke,
everything except my heart i guess

i still think im too nice

well i havent exactly seen the ocean?
lols

but ive decided
that i'll live through this
and hopefully become, bigger, stronger, wiser, and more beautiful

mmm
well maybe not bigger... cos im big enough
but yeah