monochrome

Like a black & white television,
everything before me appeared in shades of grey
Where has all the life gone?
The clear cut convictions,
the deep sense of purpose?
My hypocrisy uncovered,
and im left stranded.

Uncertainty all around me,
yet i remain apathetic,
is detachment really for the best?
stagnating, slowly dying off inside,
with all the hustle dying down,
im left confronting the vague shadow, that i fear i have become

a man without conviction,
a wandering zombie,
was life meant to be monochrome?
My heart numbed and frosted over
will i feel only too late?
i long to feel again
to hurt to groan, to labour
When will the winter pass?
When will the snow and frost melt and the flowers blume
when will the beauty return?
like an android longing for emotions,
desiring something that my world cant offer
do i belong here?
When can i return home
when can i find love, compassion and joy again?