found

im blogging in camp.............
shhhhhhhhh
well
my sis is going tml
and hmm
i guess i am sad
although im not exactly wrought with emotions
but well
im beginning to learn that things like sorrow and joy kinda transcend the mere emotional

for the past few weeks,
i'll admit to having felt more lost
hmm
its kinda relative, cost im not very found yet

anyways
i guess it was due to a combination of issues, in camp, in church/ministry and stuff
felt kinda direction-less
add that together with the incongruency between the physical and metaphysical narratives
and u get some pretty depressing stuff

wont say im better now, less depressed or things are looking up
honestly feel like ive come upon a midlife crisis a couple of decades too early

well weekend duties dictate alot of boredom and extra time
i had 2 very intriguing phone conversations

most random but one touched on applying convictions in our lives, and the dilemma when personal convictions and group convictions clash, or when group convictions change and we're left stranded

the other one touched alot on how,
how sometimes we dream big, we have ambition but it seems that we're stuck in this mundane rut headed nowhere
i guess im learning that we achieve greatness through the culmination of mundane actions

ive got too many things on my mind now
not alot on the forefront, but alot swimming around in the periphery
maybe i should do a study on the effectiveness of peripheral and subconscious thought or something

bleagh

so im just this little boy
with his immatured sentiments
not knowing what to do with them

its a sobering thought
to know for a christian who's been found
im still plenty lost