had another series of meaningful talks in a bronco outfield

but im left with one very poignant point

ive realised that one cannot talk about one's concept of heaven without talking about God's presence

upon realising that, ive realised how reluctant i was to talk about God's presence

the more noble reason i gave myself was that i didnt want to risk allowing anything i valued so much mocked by others

but im beginning to realise

its more of my fear of losing face

this fear of being thought of as an irrational creature

and its troubling

how could i be so ashamed of something so great

ive lost alot of joy

how could i ever let that go?

you got me at hello