so much has happened and so much has changed within one weekend
how to capture the essence of it all in one blog post
more importantly
how to cling onto the essence of any of it blogpost aside


hmm
well, i think since im still chewing on much of the more meaningful bits myself
i shall post the rubbish

well lets start it off with a confession
ive stolen a life conc poster
im really sorry
i couldnt resist
it was staring at me from above the urinal
i really considered returing it
and ms gay kinda convicted me
but i forgot

bleagh

anyways
all the best to chaos and co, rock the gates of hell, and proclaim Gods name
and no, ur blue shirt wasnt intense
hmm the oddest thing happened
in the midst of all that loud music during the full dress
some girl through a referal started asking me chem olympiad questions
bleagh
its so kitch i think i may puke

but she looks so much like T_____
maybe T_____ with brains.....
westmall rendevous......... bleagh

ok, this is really turning pointless
mmmmmm
i think im starting to see the signposts pointing to where i want to go
jigsaw pieces maping out the path less trodden

anyways
i was super encouraged to see a bunch of my juniors going back to serve in life concert
(the girls, i mean since its dance and well guys need to enlist)
but encouraging none the less
its great to see them catch the vision,
and bloom into such beautiful people who are so willing to serve God
im so proud of them, it almost makes the late nights spent tormenting them worth it
although i doubt i did much good
hahhahahah
although of course i didnt tell them how glad i was to see them serving
ahah
it probably wouldnt count for much if i said it
hahaha
i think ive officially made myself an ass
the kind of senior u see in the street, whence u lower ur head, wear ur shades and walk on the opposite side of the street
im beginning to see how i missed so so so many avenues to be a better witness
i admit
i regret
that i didnt do the more that i could have

and more importantly
im sorry i got caught up so much in my foolish dreams and human aspirations
im sorry i lost track on what really mattered

ive found my centre again
and i think its time i stopped wasting all that Youve given me

im giving up this foolish dream that is you
hmm,
you are
still wonderful
of course

but You
You are a jealous God
and i'll no longer give over myself to another

this is a really wierd season,
gales and storms amidst the golden sunshine of autumn

teach me what it means for the deep to call to deep
in the roar of Your waterfall
all your waves and breakers crash over me

overwhelm me again God