John 20: 26-28(niv)

26A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" 27Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."
28Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

todays easter sunday sermon was based on this passage
and although i must say it was one of my favourite sermons by ps tony
i dont think im in a place to comment on it, or to try and convey its essence in full.

what struck me really was how ps nearly broke down reading the above quoted passage
and well it rang in my mind for awhile(i must confess to having tot abt it kinda more than the sermon points)

for those of you not familiar to where thomas appears in teh gospels
he is only given the limelight in the gospel of john
where in all three instances, he is the one raising doubts

a man whose struggle against faithlessness and doubt is only too apparent in the bible
not a hero of faith or works like paul, peter or timothy,
maybe thats y i care so much abt that exchange in john 20

because of all the characters in the bible, i aspire to be like david
but im most like thomas
even in the midst of great shows of faith and piety,
where everyone is hyped up and excited
im standing in the back raising my eyebrows

when people are look to events and new seasons with expectation and hope, im probably the one remarking that it'll end up as fruitless as everything else

thomas doubted
but he finally triumphed over his doubts
maybe he needed to see to believe
but he out of all the disciples was the first to acknowledge Christ as God(theres a diff btwn calling Jesus God, and Son of God... for those who cant tell the difference, i wont bother explaining)
the faithless one was the first to make that jump of faith

its a touching passage because it speaks about Gods faithfulness in the midst of faithlessness
its touching because the doubter believes
its touching because its God's way of telling me there is a place in His kingdom for a doubter like me
(that doesnt mean that i now know there is a place for the doubter in the church, cos evidence thus far shows otherwise... to those who cant tell the difference between the two, well im blatently insulting you now)

i think the burden of doubting, is guilt
we feel guilty that even after all that God has done,
and everyone else seems perfectly capable of trust
we struggle

but i think just as thomas made that declaration
i think there's a beauty when the chronic doubter finally declares his faith, in the midst of every other doubt
theres something there, not necessarily better than child like faith
but its beauty is more sad and elegant
as to the place of the doubter in church
well, my senior pastor found that passage moving enough to tear
bwahahhaha, dont i just love to contradict myself

anyways, siew
i think i made a mistake that day
faith isnt the point of reconciliation for the physical and the metaphysical
its moreover one of the hardest things that we need to reconcile with the two